As I searched for clothes to wear this morning, I had to push past many many pair of pants that no longer fit. Four years ago, topping out at 220, I was fed up and determined to finally lose weight… and I did. And it was glorious.. 80 beautiful pounds gone. I did yoga once a week, walked the dogs often, hiked with the Girl Scouts, ate sensibly and felt wonderful. And then our lives turned upside down and we got three more kids. Kids who needed to have sit-down healthy meals as a family. Kids who liked cookies I liked and needed chips for lunches, activities to run to, food to grab on the go and eat while en route to another activity.. oh, yeah, and I forgot.. I LOVE FOOOD UGH.. three years later, I’m halfway back to that ugly weight and feeling gross.
I posted yesterday that I’m not the Grandmother I had thought I would be.. but this morning, looking at my fun clothes (not my old granny clothes in larger sizes I buy in hopes of making myself get back into shape) I realized that if I was fun that first year we had the littles.. I also was in lovely shape and had energy and it might not have jut been me trying so hard to show them stuff. I like doing stuff.. so maybe I need to get up off my butt and go out and do stuff.. and eat a little less and move my sorry self when I feel like resting. Yoga is taking care of myself just as much as curling up on the couch with a good book is. Walking the dogs with my husband at night was a great way for us to reconnect .. and for a while we were up to a mile a night.. ..I need to suck it up and go out with him again.
So . .. the walk around the inside of my school building is 1/10 of a mile. I can walk inside if it’s too cold out.. The walk around my block is 1/4 of a mile.. I need to do that more. There are Saturday morning yoga classes just 10 minutes from my house and drop in Zumba classes a few minutes further than that.. .. with my small handful of followers as witnesses, I have to promise this to myself… and to the kids. I have to put it down , in writing, because even if the littles only get me to be a fun grandma once in a while I need to make sure I have the energy and desire to do that when the moment becomes available.