I had two very quiet weekends. The week between was full of hilarity, teen-girl screeching and eating my weight in amazing southern food. But the weekends were quiet. Very quiet.
The first weekend was my yearly silent retreat. If you have never done an Ignatian Retreat (Jesuits) , it is amazing… especially for someone like me who insists on chatting with little old ladies and grabbing random babies off the street and talking to them. There are no hello’s in the hallway, no need for small talk at dinner, you use the silence to find your own way without the hassle of all the noise of daily life. It was, as always, a wonderful reflective retreat which helped me center on God and know what is truly important in my life. I spent much of the time walking, sleeping and praying and the rest reading and taking pictures.
Then I took 13 middle school girls five women and one dad to Savannah GA (which for those of you who don’t know is Girl Scout Mecca) for a week of sight seeing, bonding and eating. (not a single silent moment in all of the five and half days we were gone… even the night time was full of noises thanks to some very mysterious noises in the old house)
After 12 hours of driving back to Maryland on Friday, I collapsed into bed with my darling husband for a few hours before he left and took my son to the Outer Banks in NC for a few days of fishing. The littles were all at the respective bio-dad’s houses so that left me alone with the dogs. ALONE… blissfully, amazingly ALONE. I don’t remember the last time I had the house to myself for more than an hour or so, it was a very lovely experience. It was also weird. I missed my little people. (after the first day of sleeping in the recliner for hours) and my son and my husband.
Before you get tooo jealous, I should let you know that I had been gone for over a week and the house was a wreck. I still had six hundred loads of laundry to do, a pile of junk on the kitchen table that needed to be organized, floors to be washed and dishes to be put away, but I had it all on my own time. The dogs needed some tending and walking, but mostly they were in my lap dreaming of carelessly watched pizza.
In my head I had planned a weekend of going to the gym, organizing my office and cleaning out the flower beds. In reality, I spent most of the weekend watching girl movies from the recliner. Easter Mass on Sunday morning was delightful, but lonely without my entourage. I didn’t have anyone to take care of, so I was a little adrift.
Even getting up and out of the house this morning was difficult. I didn’t have anyone to prod along, I didn’t have my high schooler to drag out of bed, or my middle school boys to hustle out the door. There were no breakfasts or lunches to be made, no forms to sign, no reminders to be yelled up the stairs. Not having my granddaughter around for the last hour before I left for work was lonely. I realized as much as they make me crazy I need them to keep me centered in my own life. God sure knew what he was doing when he gifted me with these kids. 🙂