So, we are feuding with our neighbors…it’s a long crazy story and I can’t tell it as crazy as it really has gotten, but the newest volley they have thrown is to call the local animal control officer. We have committed the mortal sin of not scooping our poop. (Well our dog’s poop) when we walk them around our very wooded neighborhood. Mind you, we never let them go in anyone’s yard and we never let them poop on the street, but somehow, our letting our big stinky dog poop sit in a wooded abandoned lot where no one plays is unforgivable. They have even videotaped the event and signed an affidavit.
YES, I know, it is wrong and shameful, and when we first heard that the out-of-work-creepy-sex offender neighbor was bothered by it, we contacted the officer and promised to always scoop from here to forth! We don’t need to play into their little dram..we can be good poopscoping Americans.
We were certainly surprised when the aforementioned neighbor called the authorities again!! Again, the authorities left a note…so this time I called and invited the officer over. I will admit that this large county we live in has a very small town atmosphere, and I figured I knew either the officer’s wife or his kid…and BINGO…..as he pulled in, he said …HI Cturtle! (my Girl Scout alias) I know both his daughter and his wife. we laughed, he shook his finger at me, told me all neighbors are crazy and I should make sure to keep well away from them. He said animal control officers are often thrown in the middle of neighborhood disputes…it is the nature of the business. He went through the motions of checking the dogs’ records and told us tales of other neighborhood squabbles, since they keep him busy on a dull afternoon.
Just for fun, I walked him to his truck. My crazy neighbors were perched on the porch, feverishly smoking Marlboro lights and drinking something from a red solo cup while the barefooted feral children ran in the street.
I don’t even remember what the officer said, but I gave it my best bar-fly head toss and deep throat laugh. I touched his arm and waved a cheery hello to all the neighbors. I stood talking to him a for a few more minutes, laughing away…. As he drove away I turned and waved again at my neighbors. I heard him give a hearty laugh and shake his head …. It’s good to know I’m at least good for a laugh.
***some events may have been exaggerated for my own entertainment