Down to TWO

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Hello again, its been a while.  Our life went from crazy to straight out madcap for a year…too many obligations, too many hoops to jump through. Every spare second I had, I tried to rest.  Now things are calmer,  kids have moved out and on.  Girlie to the grown up life, my boy to Army boot camp and one grand has started a new life with his biological father hundreds of miles away.  I keep thinking I should change the name for the blog now that we only have two kids at home, but I still worry about all five so, I guess I’ll keep it.

Two weeks of vacation camping with the littles gave me a weird insight to being an empty nester.  I’m not sure I’m cut out for that. .  The first week the littles went off to a wonderful camp in Massachusetts while I was supposed to relax on the beach nearby. (that never happened)   I was befuddled by my time alone.  I tidied the campsite, wrote letters to my son at boot camp and I felt guilty for not being productive.

I tried to keep myself busy..I biked the campground, I read…. I got sucked for three hours into a Walmart Super-center vortex one day and the laundromat the next.  I also decided those were the days I should sit at the library and do some research for work. One day I missed a phone call from my soldier and cried for the rest of the afternoon.   I did spend a nice day with my mom shopping, but all in all I spent just a few hours total on the beach by myself.   I totally failed at being alone…

The second week, we behaved like tourists. We went to a local amusement park, we ate lobsters, played in the ocean and rode our bikes.  #3 got up super early and watched the sunrise.    We did have some very nice visits with family and watched shooting stars late into the night.   I didn’t relax, but I didn’t feel like failure either.

Our two weeks of camping fun is over and we arrived home late last night.  The extreme heat allows us to hibernate today.  We have a few short days before I have to head back to work, but really our school year has already begun.   Cheer practice, scouts and community commitments are looming before us.

The littles are ready to be back with their friends.  I have a  pile of paperwork to complete and we still have yet to purchase a single school supply.  With only two kids at home back- to-school seems too simple.  Once upon a time I am sure school starting with two kids seemed like a herculean task, now it just seems like an ordinary day.

Ordinary days stretch before us.  We will have school and some sports, but everything will be less.  Yes, there will be less laundry, less clutter,  fewer schedules to coordinate, and fewer doors slamming; but there will also be fewer smiles and hugs.  There will be fewer late  night talks, fewer celebrations.

How odd this new life… so much like the life I was leading six years ago, but now I know what I was missing then.



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